Sometimes it's hard...

The stress of undergoing cancer treatment can often be magnified during the holidays, simply due to the additional stress that comes along with travel, hosting family/friends, and making all those lists. Even seemingly simple traditions such as putting up holiday decorations or baking cookies can cause a cancer patients to find themselves wrapped in sadness rather than joy.

Sometimes the difficulty in coping is born out of sheer exhaustion - cancer treatment saps even the most physically fit person of their strength on normal days, let alone days with added tasks on the to-do list. Other times, there is an emotional component to the stress. A brave face may be hiding some fear in many patients (and caregivers), so remembering holidays past and thinking about those to come can be overwhelming.

Whether you are dealing with cancer yourself, know someone who is, or recently lost someone special, these tips (edited from Mayo Clinic) may be helpful as you prepare for the coming weeks. If you are a friend of a family dealing with cancer this year, consider what you can do to help lighten their burden.

1. Acknowledge your feelings. For people affected by cancer, the holidays can be bittersweet. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. Don't try to force a false happiness just because it's the holiday season. This advice is valid for caregivers as well... both you and the patient should be able to express whatever you may be feeling, regardless of "appearances".
2. Reach out. If you are unable to spend time with loved-ones this season and are feeling lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Don't be afraid to reach out to friends. Many of them may want to help, but don't know what you need.
3. Be realistic. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year. As circumstances change, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. You may find that new experiences can take your mind off of those things you may be missing this year.
4. Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't seem to be respecting your needs or understanding your limitations. If you're a caregiver, practice compassion if your loved-one gets upset or distressed when something goes awry. Remind them that you've never expected perfection, and this year is no different. 
5. Plan ahead. Set aside specific blocks of time for shopping, baking, visiting or welcoming friends and other activities. Advance planning will help prevent overdoing things and help you spread out the activity, which will reduce stress and help keep you from becoming overly tired. Make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup (see #2).
6. Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed, and for cancer patients, it can have detrimental effects on your health. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't participate in every project or activity. Your well-being is more important than that annual holiday cookie-exchange. 
7. Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. When you're planning your activities, be sure to include some down-time. Remember, this is one of the only times since nursery school that no-one will question the idea of naps in the middle of the day! Take a walk or sit out on the patio in the evening to enjoy the night sky. Listen to soothing music. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.
8. Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for more than a few weeks, don't hesitate to share them with your physician or a mental health professional.

Hope Cancer Resources' social workers and counselors are here when you need them. Make a confidential appointment to talk about your challenges and concerns this holiday season by calling 479-361-5847.