Holiday Stress Relief

We're sharing an oldie but goodie from our blog archives today. The information is still relevant, and we hope beneficial to you or someone you love.

The holidays can be incredibly stressful and even depressing for a cancer patient and their caregivers. You may be too exhausted to make travel plans or host your annual open house. Besides the physical challenges of being a cancer patient, the holidays can also be very difficult emotionally. Feelings may not always be joyous. In fact, during this time of year a cancer patient may deal with many complex and overwhelming feelings that they are able to stay on top of during the rest of the year.

Here are some tips for coping with cancer during the holidays**:

For the Patient...
Prepare yourself emotionally.
Holidays are often a time of remembrance, and of looking ahead. For a cancer patient, both of those things can cause feelings to surface that have been dormant or non-existent previously. Fears about your continuing treatments, recovery period, or how long your remission will last can all be overwhelming when faced with loved ones' questions and concerns. Know that you may be asked questions about your diagnosis and your current state of health, as well as your prognosis for the future, and decide how you will handle those potentially uncomfortable moments.

Plan to get together with friends, family or co-workers.
As much as is possible depending on your physical stamina, plans should be made to spend time with people who are supportive of you and your situation. Don't assume that you need to stay away from everything - it will only lead to feelings of distress and lonliness. That said, you don't have to do it all! Allow yourself to decline invitations if necessary. Your health and well-being is your priority.

Keep it simple.
If you have traditionally been the one expected to provide the meals and host the festivities, ask everyone to bring their favorite dish or suggest a restaurant instead. Perhaps you could host a mid-afternoon get together or dessert reception instead of a sit-down meal? Enlist friends or a maid service to help you prepare for a gathering, and clean up afterward.

Share the work.
You may be apprehensive of the holidays because you have always been the one who managed the planning. Take care of yourself by confiding in close friends or loved ones and asking them to take on part of the burden. Many times those closest to you want to help, but aren't sure what to do. Let them be there for you.

Be a creative shopper.

There are so many catalogs and internet shopping options available nowadays, there's no need to get out in the crowds and exhaust yourself (not to mention the risk of infection if your blood counts are low). Many online stores even offer free shipping for orders of a certain size, or those made by a certain date. Take it easy, and enjoy the giving - not the shopping. And don't think a gift card is not an acceptable gift! Many local merchants like Walgreens have great selections of cards from restaurants and stores found all over the country. You can get all your shopping done while waiting for your prescriptions to be filled!

Share your feelings.
Seek out additional support if it's hard to talk to those you're closest to. Find a support group or just talk to someone one-on-one. Communicating your feelings - even the ones you find difficult to admit having - can help you feel less alone and more connected. (Contact Hope Cancer Resources with your questions about talking to a counselor.) As suggested above, be ready for questions about your cancer diagnosis and prognosis. If you would rather not discuss it, don't be afraid to post a little note at the front door or on the invitations you send out that designate your home as a Cancer-Free Conversation Zone.

Set goals for the New Year.
A cancer diagnosis can alter your future plans and even your personal priorities and life path. But there is nothing that says a re-evaluation is not valuable, no matter what your situation is. Even if you're not sure how things will turn out after your treatment, make plans and set goals. It can help strengthen your resolve to recover and get back in control of your life if you remind yourself that there's something out there to work toward.


For the Caregiver...
Remind your loved one that you care, and are there.
They may need a little extra reassurance that they are needed and loved, even if they can't do all they have done in the past. Give them gifts that speak to who they are apart from being a cancer patient. Let them know you see them as a person, not as a cancer patient.

No pressure, please.
Invite your loved one to join in holiday activities, but don't pressure them to be involved in every event. They may need to rest their body and their mind in order to make the things they choose to do more enjoyable.

Offer to help.
Offer to clean the house, do laundry, cook, get groceries, decorate, etc. Give your loved one the opportunity to decide what they want to do, and then help with the rest. If you're not sure what you can do to help, or aren't sure what they want to do for the holidays - just ask! Talk to them about their feelings and share your own. Working together to make decisions about holiday preparations can help each of you feel more connected.

Be sensitive to their feelings.
Don't expect your loved one to react to the stimuli of parties, family gatherings, and even small things like a quiet meal the same way as they have in the past. They may be grateful for the time with you, but feel guilty about the efforts others have to make to get them there or work around their physical needs. They may be frustrated about an unknown future and find it hard to fully appreciate being in the moment. These kinds of emotions are normal - allow them to feel what they feel and communicate those feelings to you (or not) without judgement.

Maintain some normalcy.
Your loved one probably wants to celebrate the holidays as normally as possible, without a lot of time spent dwelling on their cancer. Let them know you are with them because you love them and enjoy their company, not because you feel sorry for them.


**Thanks to CancerCare for the original fact sheet that inspired this post!

Be an "everyone".

"Thank you for all you have done for me. 

Having cancer is the pits, but with you and everyone on my side 
I can handle it!"

When we get notes like this in the mail, we are reminded that the work we do every day not only helps cancer patients pay the bills and buy their medications and put gasoline in their cars... we're not just providing information about cancer to individuals across Northwest Arkansas and helping them receive cancer screenings when their doctor says they need them... we are also providing hope. We are connecting people to a support system that helps them see past the treatment plan and the bills and the time off work. We let them know that others have been right where they are today, and they have made it through.

We let them know that they can become survivors, too.

We'd like to invite you to be part of our "everyone" and help us make a difference in a cancer patient's life. You can help us provide medications and gas cards and screenings...

You can provide hope.

Join us at Harps and Price Cutter stores in Northwest Arkansas between August 3rd and 12th, and when you check out you'll be given the opportunity to make a donation to Hope Cancer Resources. Choose an amount to add to your grocery bill, and the store will do the rest. It's simple, and for the people we help, it's life-changing.

• $5.00 can pay a co-pay for a prescription medication.
• $25.00 buys a gas card to help someone who lives in Berryville get to their daily radiation treatments in Fayetteville.
• $150.00 pays an electric bill so a patient doesn't have to skip buying groceries for their family that week.
• $450.00 pays the rent for a family whose sole bread-winner is on medical leave to treat her cancer.

In addition to hosting us for this annual fundraiser, Harps and Price Cutter stores are also presenting sponsors for our annual gala, the Bill Fleeman Gentlemen of Distinction. Their support has been vital as we have increased the visibility and financial support for our programs serving Northwest Arkansas. We're grateful for the efforts of their management and staff, and their commitment to Hope Cancer Resources and the people we serve.

Treating the Whole Patient

If you have spent any time with a cancer patient as they underwent treatment, you probably know that the physical effects of the disease are only one part of the journey. A change in an individual's ability to function as they did pre-diagnosis causes a tremendous amount of stress. Fear of the unknown - and even the fear of the known - can also cause a patient to endure a level of stress that can be detrimental to their emotional health. These stresses can affect relationships with caregivers and other loved-ones, as well as their ability to function at work or perform routine tasks.

1 in 2 men and 1 in 3 women will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetimes, according to American Cancer Society estimates. Nothing can prepare a person to receive a diagnosis that can be potentially fatal. And even when a patient has successfully made it through treatment and is declared "cancer free", there still may be a tremendous amount of residual worry.

The National Cancer Institute addresses stress and cancer on their website: 

Studies have indicated that stress can affect tumor growth and spread, but the precise biological mechanisms underlying these effects are not well understood. Scientists have suggested that the effects of stress on the immune system may in turn affect the growth of some tumors. However, recent research using animal models indicates that the body’s release of stress hormones can affect cancer cell functions directly.

A review of studies that evaluated psychological factors and outcome in cancer patients suggests an association between certain psychological factors, such as feeling helpless or suppressing negative emotions...

Every time a staff member at Hope Cancer Resources interacts with a cancer patient or their family members there is an opportunity to provide emotional support. Even the smallest thing - like providing a brochure - can reduce a patient's stress level. Our licensed oncology social workers help patients and caregivers cope with emotional distress through counseling, education and  information on support groups offered in our community. 

Here's a story of one of our patients who received emotional support from Hope Cancer Resources:

"Jason" is a cancer patient, married with three grown children. When we met him, he was suffering from chronic pain stemming from a previous accident as well as increasingly acute pain related to his cancer diagnosis.  Jason refused all but the mildest forms of pain medication. His pain was so extreme that he considered ending his life.

 Jason had never been to a counselor. He had always been strong and able to "handle anything on my own." Not wishing to burden his family, he kept his suffering to himself, but doing so had taken its toll on this once vibrant person who had already overcome many obstacles in life. Were it not for the insistence of his physician, Jason might never have sought help. By the end of his first therapy session, however, he shared what a relief it was to have a safe place to talk about both his physical and emotional pain.   

Over the next several weeks, he and one of our licensed counselors met on a regular basis and explored his beliefs about asking for help as well as his fear that taking strong pain medications would cause him to develop an addiction.  Subsequently, Jason felt comfortable discussing and pursuing additional options for pain relief with his physician.    

By his fourth session, there was nothing less than a remarkable change in Jason.  Physically, he appeared "lighter," peaceful and well rested, but it was the change in his outlook on life that really made an impression. His focus had shifted completely.  Whereas Jason had previously been plagued by persistent thoughts of death, he now talked in great detail of his renewed relationship with his wife, their summer travel plans, and resuming hobbies he enjoyed.  With a big grin on his face, he came in one day to simply say, "I've got a lot to live for."

If you know someone who is undergoing treatment for cancer and could benefit from the emotional support services we offer, contact one of our social workers at 479-361-5847.  

Information Overload

Meet Kay: She consulted with a physician at Highlands Oncology Group in Fayetteville when she was initially diagnosed with cancer. She did meet with one of our social workers, but was so overwhelmed by all the information she was receiving and the speed of her diagnosis, she didn't really enter into a discussion. Because the type of cancer Kay had was extremely rare, she was referred to a surgeon out-of-state where she was treated and will continue to receive follow up treatment for an undetermined amount of time.

Kay didn't need our services during her treatment, and was able to recover from surgery and get back to her life without much interruption, but she kept our social worker's card in her wallet. As she passed our building every day on the way to and from work, she began to feel compelled to contact us. She made an appointment to talk to a counselor to discuss her cancer journey so far, to vent, and talk about the road ahead. She just needed, as she put it, "an ear and a shoulder."

For most of the 20th century, information about cancer was not easy to get your hands on unless you were a physician. Patients relied on their family doctor or specialists, if they had access to them, to provide a diagnosis and discuss different procedures and methods of treatment. The doctor's word was usually the last word in cancer treatment for people in our grandparents time, and even in many of our parents' time.

Fast-forward to 2011: In today's "connected" society, we are likely to do some research (or a lot of research) ourselves via the internet. We will take the information we find online to our doctors' appointments. We will discuss the local oncologists and treatment options with support groups and friends who have fought cancer. We will be completely involved in the final decisions made about our treatment.

More information can be a great thing. In fact, information - "awareness", in particular - is a vital component to cancer prevention programs like those managed by Hope Cancer Resources. We promote making healthy choices regarding sun exposure, tobacco use, and the frequency of tests and screenings that are designed to catch cancer or pre-cancerous conditions early. But we also understand that the amount of information available to patients online and in the printed materials in our resource libraries, and even coming straight from the physicians, can be, as Kay said, overwhelming.

Our social workers are here to help. We are available to help you with emergency needs that might come up during treatment, and we're here to help point you to reliable sources of information if you are looking for places to do your own research. But we are also here to listen. Our confidential counseling sessions are available to patients before, during, or after treatment, and to caregivers in some circumstances as well. We are here to help you make sense of your diagnosis and the changes that occur in a body and a lifestyle that has been affected by cancer. We're here to let you cry, or laugh, or just be reminded that you're not alone. No matter when you think you need us - we're here.